Longhornweightloss's Blog

Well it’s been a roller coaster!!!! All sorts of ups and downs! Lets take a look at where i’ve ended up. I started at 294. That is my highest weight. I’m now down to 183!!!! YAHOO!!!! I feel good and most of all I look good. I’ve started doing some more Wii exercise and I do hit the gym. I definitely need to work out more.

Lets go over the positives and negatives of this surgery because there are a lot of both!

Positive:

The obvious: I’m healthier!
I have more energy
I can do more things!
I actually got a Hersheypark season pass and fit on EVERY ride I wanted to go on!!!!! I didn’t have to wonder while standing in line if I was going to fit on the rides or not! It just was!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can wear really cute clothes!!!!!!!! One HUGE Non Scale Victory from this week: I bought a size 15 JUNIORS jeans!!!!! SKINNY Jeans and i wore them with my short cowgirl boots and I looked awesome!

There are so many things I can do now that I couldn’t before. A lot of things I didn’t realize I was doing. Not wanting to go out, not wanting to see friends. I never realized how ashamed I was of myself.

now some of the negatives:

I thought I had a lot on my mind when I was big? That’s NOTHING to the minute to minute thought process that comes with this surgery! THere are MANY days I wish I could just be normal and not have to think about EVERY bite of food I put in my mouth! Did I get enough protein, am I eating the right thing, have I eaten at the right time. It is an on going monologue in my head at all times. Yes, in the grand scheme of things i’d NEVER take this back, it was the best thing I’ve ever done. However, dealing with the life change is as nerve racking as feeling inadaquate in the world.

Another negative is that I’ve lost a LOT of hair. I know it’s a vanity thing, but thank God I had a lot of hair to begin with or I’d be bald as a cue ball right now. It’s shock from surgery, not getting enough protein etc. I’m going to have to take some extra vitamins to make sure that my hair grows back.

This has been an amazing journey and my life has changed for the better for sure. But anyone that tells you that this is the “easy way out” has no idea what comes with having this surgery.

I’d never take it back and I’ve made some great changes in my life. I’m grateful for this oppurtunity it will always be a work in progress for sure. The next year is still going to be a learning experience. I can’t wait to see where the next 9 months takes me!!!!!!!

So July 7th will be 6months since surgery. So what’s been going on? 1 failed relationship and 1 new job. Both pretty stressful but still losing weight in the process. I was 264 the day of surgery I am now 196!!!!!! Not too bad if I do say so myself.

What’s the hard part? Not over eating, taking vitamins and making sure I get all my protein in everyday. I try really hard but what I’ve learned is that I may have had the surgery but it didn’t get rid of the demons!!!!!!

I really need some therapy. I found a great doc but she doesn’t take my insurance. I worry that I’ll revert back to old habits if I don’t get into a good program. I have learned to wrote down everything I eat and study it closely. If I’m not watching I will end up gaining it all back.

This is a really scary and stressful time. I’m now in charge of my own destiny and now I have the tool it’s just wether mentally I truly understand what I’m dealing with.

I’m trying to stay level but I know I can’t do it on my own. I need to see if I can afford this therapist because I don’t want to get to the point where I’m failing before I get help.

Wish me luck everyone this is an even longer road!!!!!

There isn’t a whole lot to tell these days! I’ve moved up to more normal foods thank heavens! What I have learned is I have a horrible fear of BREAD!!!! On my list of foods I can have is WELL toasted toast. Whole grain of course. I almost flipped a lid! And baked tortilla chips?! REALLY!????? But I had a talk with my nutritionist and realized that a half a piece of well toasted toast is not going to put me back at 300 pounds! Having some baked tortilla chips with salsa is also not going to make me go completely backwards! There are ways to deal with these kinds of situations. Portions!!!!! It’s what everyone talks about anyway! Portion sizes are EVERYTHING! I was even told to get some whole wheat pasta! PASTA OF ALL THINGS!!!! NO WAY!!!!! But really what’s a 1/4 cup of whole wheat pasta going to do to you?!

I’m truly learning all over again how to eat and what to eat. Slow and steady wins the race and keeping track of what you take in is the most important thing you can do.

Here’s the new issue I’ve found. I try something new like Tuna Salad or chicken and after I eat it that one time I never want to eat it again! It’s like after you eat a food and it makes you sick you can’t stand looking at it again. It’s EXACTLY like that. I can’t imagine this is a good idea for down the line! LOL I’m going to have to eat something at some point! So, now i’m trying to figure out how to work around this issue. It’s not fun, but something that has to be done. I need to get into a better schedule and more planning so I know what’s coming and how to prepare for it. Honestly I can’t eat but a 1/4 cup of anything so it’s a matter of getting it down!

I’m down about 56 pounds since last march and I feel really good! But I have to get this eating under control and i have to make sure I’m getting in everything I have to. If I don’t I’m going to be in a world of hurt! Fingers crossed everyone!!!

It’s been exactly one month since my surgery and I’m so excited to say I’m down 23 pounds!!!!! This was the best thing I’ve ever decided to do. It’s definitely a life change and there are tons of realizations in only one month. The biggest realization is that I was a “situational” eater. With the snow storms we have I realized I ate a lot when I wasn’t hungry. I would have bought pizza, McDonalds etc all in the name of a snow storm. I know I’m an emotional eater too. Rough day, go eat out. Successful day, go eat out.

I don’t think there is a lot of food I miss and that may be just because I’m seriously not hungry. I haven’t really missed chocolate like I thought I would. I do miss burger night at the Wick. But I think that is just schedule of it. We went every Wednesday and I miss that regularity in my schedule. The fun part is I could probably go now and get a burger without the bun and eat a few bites of it.

Last night I had Chicken tenders and they were great! They set well in my lil pouchy and it was nice to have actual solid food to eat. The support I’ve gotten from my friends and family is amazing! I definitely couldn’t have done it without them. All the cards and well wishes is just so great and I’m so touched by the positive out pouring of caring. I know this has a negative stigma, but I haven’t heard any of it. That has been the best bonus ever!

Here’s to the next month and hopefully another 23 pounds gone!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!

Well ok! It didn’t really take a snow day to realize some of this stuff, but it definitely came into my mind today while I was watching the snow come down. If this had been before surgery and we were getting this snow I would pizza, cookies, chips etc to munch on during the snow. I asked myself WHY I would have had that stuff. I realized it was, “because that’s what you do when it snows!” I have realized I eat because of occasions! I eat because it’s a weekend and I can. I eat because it’s a snow storm and everyone runs out for food for a snowstorm. But, these aren’t things that HAVE to happen! I’ve made it through and I didn’t need a HUGE cheeseburger or Pizza, I didn’t need cookies. I wanted them. TRUST ME!!!! But it wasn’t life or death, it wasn’t going to change my life! It’s been nice to see that I don’t NEED those foods. That my life will go on without issue without those foods.

The weight will come off and I’ll be much more healthy. I’ll always have those pangs where I wish I could have a HUGE slice of pizza or a HUGE hamburger, but I think i’m going to be fine. I think this will all be the best thing I’ve ever done!!!!

So there it is, short and sweet!!!!!!

So, I’ve learned a lot in the last week about what happens after you have weight loss surgery! Most of these tips are for loved ones of anyone who has had this surgery so you can more understand what is happening. The most important thing I’ve learned is that fat stores estrogen. Yes ladies if you are holding fat within your body you are also holding in estrogen! GREAT WHAT FUN! So, after weight loss surgery you are putting your body into a certain state of starvation. Due to the malabsorption of food etc your body starts to feed off the fat you have stored which leads to the weight loss. However, the down side to all of this is when the fat cells “burst” it releases that extra extrogen into your system. So, what does this mean for the patient and the people around them. Well, for me it means I NEED MY MEDS!!!!! It basically sent my emotions into a tizzy!!! We are talking roller coaster city and without the meds I would not have been able to come out of that funk! It’s so important for families and friends to know that when your friend goes into a funk like that it is truly hormonal and they are fighting as hard as they can to get out of it. A day of crying is ok, mood swings are ok and this could go on for a year!!! Yes you heard me right a YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEW!!! Trust me I’m not looking forward to that anymore than you all are! HA HA HA HA I’m hard enough to deal with on a good day! HA HA HA HA

So that’s the biggest thing I’ve learned in the last week. I try and be VERY mindful of it and make sure I have my meds in me (which is easier now that I can take in some solid foods) and I try and remember it isn’t what people said or did around me. I’m just losing the fat! Which then perks me up and off I go on my lil merry way!

On the goofy side of weight loss surgery, most patients refer to their stomach as a “pouch”. They also tend to give their “pouch” a name. Never being one to be left out I have lovingly started calling my pouch . . . . wait for it. . . . “Lil Pouchy” (I know I know I’m a genius!) So if I ever refer to “Lil Pouchy” in my blogs you’ll know what I’m talking about! (see weight loss surgery has it’s quirky side too! LOL)

Well, things are going well here. I think I’m back on track and eating some solid foods is fun! I made cheesecake with Tofu. Should have known better since it had Tofu in it! But I was willing to give it a shot! Yeah didn’t work out so well! Not ALL cheesecakes are alike! But don’t you worry I’ll find a cheesecake recipe that actually TASTES like cheesecake! HA HA HA HA

So from “Lil Pouchy” and Me! Have a great day! And make sure you get all your needs for the storm tonight! FRENCH TOAST ALL AROUND!!!! (except for me, I’ll have some applesauce! HA HA HA )

At this very time last week I was in pre op getting ready for life changing surgery. So, here’s the question: Do I feel different? That is a resounding ‘HELL YEAH!’ I sit with my family while they have roast beef and mashed potatoes and I eat jello and it doesn’t bother me! I look forward to moving on to pureed food. I look forward to each day and I’m excited for the next year. It’s been a good week and an interesting week. I’m so thankful for this opportunity but it’s just the beginning, there’s so much more to do and learn! I’m just so excited about it all!!!!!!!!!

This has been an interesting five days for sure! I am down 5 pounds since I left the hospital so I’m doing rather well I think! I realize they have rearranged my insides but it sure doesn’t feel like it! But then again I can’t tell what the pain is from! Is it my new stomach (we call it a “pouch”) is it the gas pains? (cause they filled my stomach up with air to check for leaks) or is it cramps?! Either way, at all points of my day, except when i’m on pain meds, I have some sort of discomfort! Not enough to make you cry, just uncomfortable.

Today was a good day though! I went out of the house and ran errands with mom! We hit Kmart, the grocery store, the post office, the card store, went to the wick for lunch. (I had a few sips of soup broth and hot tea! A HUGE difference from my 2 beers, buffalo burger and curly fries! LOL) I did a lot of walking and that was good. I want to exercise as much as I can a day! (they recommend it anyway!) I was DOG tired when I got home and in some good pain. Took some meds, laid in my comfy recliner with my USF Snuggie and watched a TON of Family Guy episodes on my IPhone! (Love that thing!)

So, as they say it’s, Sip, Sip, Sip, walk, walk, walk, rest, rest, rest. I had 2 protien shakes today which haven’t been too bad. I have taken all my vitamins, aka CLYSDALE TYPE HORSE PILLS! (they are chewable! LOL) Had some Jello for dinner and now I’m back in the comfy chair resting til it’s time to go to bed.

Big change tonight I’m going to try and sleep in a bed tonight. I’ve been sleeping in the recliner the last few nights since when I lay flat it pulls on my incisions. NOT a comfortable feeling! LOL

After day eight I move on to some pureed food which is a new and exciting prospect! Never thought I’d look forward to ricotta cheese and cottage cheese, but there’s a first for everything right?!

SO! It’s 8pm here and I’m ready for some pain meds, water and some sleep! I’ll continue to keep everyone updated.

I had great intentions of blogging from the hospital, but it all went by so quickly! Here’s a short recap of the highlights! For anyone whose wondered about the surgery process here it goes! Mom and I get up at 4am to get ready to go to the hospital! What happens on the day of surgery? That’s right people it snows! So we are driving and the roads are snow covered and unplowed and you can’t really see where you are going! It was a nice lil comedy relief on a stressful morning! So we get there and we check in with everyone and it was more like orientation day at college than getting ready for surgery! There are probably 20 or so people with us and “tourguide” (So not kidding) She showed us where the waiting area was, how our patient numbers coinside with a number on the screen letting our loved ones know when we are out of surgery and into recovery etc. (It was all actually pretty neat!) So we go and they take us all to the pre op area! We all have our own cubicles where we change into our attractive gowns and sit and wait. Mom and I watched the news looking to see if dad had a delay at school, which he did. Then the anestesiologists come in and get you all set up for that. Finally they roll you into the OR. Those rooms are AMAZING!!!!!!!!! All the tv screens and lights and instruments etc. Holy Cow! How do they know what goes with what?! After that it’s a blur! LOL I came to in recovery where I stayed from 10:30am til about 5:30pm. I felt so bad for mom! She sat with me in recovery for all that time in a chair that could NOT have been comfy! But she stuck it out like a trooper!

So once I was in my room things were fine! I had my nice lil IV all set up and mom and dad were there and we all just relaxed. Mom went home after dinner and dad stayed with me til about 10:30 and I went to sleep and he went home. Sleeping in a hospital is like sleeping in a war zone! They woke me up pretty much every hour to check my vitals and the doctors came in to check on me, so Friday night I got NO sleep! LOL

Saturday was a nice lil day in the hospital! Lots of visitors and the nurses took good care of me. Once I was allowed liquids the pain meds really helped me relax and sleep! The gas pains from this surgery are just so painful! After surgery before they wake you up they pump air into your stomach to look for leaks and then you spend the next week walking around and trying to pass all that air out of your system! TONS OF FUN!!!

So, now i’m home and comfy on the recliner. I have my crystal light with my protien powder in it and I had a carnation instant breakfast when I got home that also had protien powder in it. I’m actually ahead of the game I think! 40 grams of protien already today is great!!!! I keep sipping my water in order to get hydrated and get the protien in. Those are going to be the most important things in the first few weeks.

It’s good to be home, but scary too! It’s now truly up to me! The doctors have done all they can and now I’m in control! I’m in control of protien and water intake, vitamin intake etc. The only one that can screw this up is me! GEE NO PRESSURE THERE?! LOL I think I’m good, I”ve been working on this for a year now, so I guess I just have to trust in what I already know! Plus, I have great people in place that will help me if I have any questions!

So, I raise my protien powder and would like to make a toast. . . to the rest of my life! A nice long and healthy one!!!!!!

HOLY COW 4 DAYS OF LIQUIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (4 more to go! LOL) I’m doing well on my lil faste! I’ve made it through 4 days and have lost 7 pounds! I work the next two days so i’m sure with having a schedule at work things will go more quickly and I’ll be able to handle the hunger better! Trust me I would LOVE to run to Wendy’s and order a HUGE cheeseburger! But I haven’t so far so I figure I’m not going to let myself down now! Nothing like popscicles and slim fast to get ya moving! LOL I won’t lie, I’m exhausted!!!! But I’m not doing too badly and I know it’s just the beginning to a great end! The whole idea that I’ve already lost 7 pounds really helps! Being able to see the results right away is so important to me and such a motivator! This is how I roll peeps, this is how I roll!

So now I figure I better go make a shake and have some broth cause that’s how exciting my life is right now! I’ll keep ya all posted!!!!!!